ATTACK OF THE DATE MONSTERS

So you’ve finally been able to get a date, it’s all gravy now right? Wrong. You haven’t even gone on the date and the possible mind field of games is about to present itself to you. Thankfully I haven’t personally experienced what they call a broken date, but it’s up there as a perfect example of a woman’s mind game …

THE COURTING MENACE

Okay, you’ve got money in your pocket; your pride and confidence are at an all time high. You’ve finally realised living with your parents or by yourself is not as trendy as you first thought. You have decided it is time to find someone, a companion, someone to toast marshmallows with, someone to tell you that your cinderblock book shelf …

When Thinking With the Head, the Cock and the Heart…

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” – Robin Williams Once I thought there were two modes of thinking when it comes to men; which is when he is thinking with his penis, and when he is thinking with his brain. But there is …

THE QUEST: UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

“This guy is walking on the beach somewhere in California. He sees a lamp, rubs it, and a Genie comes out. The genie is so happy that he decides to grant one wish to the lucky guy. The guy thinks about it and says, “I’d like you to build a highway to Hawaii because I am afraid to fly”. The …

MY TOWN MAITLAND – A PLACE OF IRONIC HISTORY

They say that many of Maitland’s attractions have a link with history, but a lot of history becomes sugar coated over time and with hindsight and the advent of political correctness there’s a lot of flip flopping of original opinions and newly found appreciation for people and places that wasn’t there when it was maybe needed the most. With so …

Die Like A Rock Star

They say that you’ve gotta live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse. But when you think about it, Kurt Cobain blew his head off, Elvis was found slumped over a toilet bowl, Jim Morrison died in his bath tub and Mama Cass choked on a sandwich. So, surely the best way to protect your rock star image …

The Return Of The Mixed Tape

When I was a kid, we used to make mix tapes of our favourite songs and hand them around. Most of my friends would just put on music, usually top 40 crap, but I went that little bit extra and added my own personal intros and commentaries between songs. I played old 50s and 60s classics and used “THE LION …

The Fantasy Of Disappearing & Being Anonymous

A constant motif in my creative work, aka screenplays and stories, is one of change. A lot of my lead characters are seen to go on a personal journey and usually either start off with a beard, hairy, and pretty much down trodden and by the end of the story are clean, healthy and symbolically born again. Perhaps hiding my …

Toilet Serenity

I promised myself I would never put myself through it again. The pain, the excruciating pain, the suffering. Ohhhh the horror. No, it’s not marriage. I promised myself I would never drink a full jumbo size Pepsi while entering a cinema ever again. After what I went through with WAYNE’S WORLD, my bladder has never been the same. You think …

They Were The Best Of Times…

I guess when you’re not happy in a relationship and you’re not yet ready to call it off for whatever reason, you start to remember all of the things that made you happy, and all the positive things that made you who you were when you went into the relationship to begin with. Ask yourself, how good was it when …