I guess when you’re not happy in a relationship and you’re not yet ready to call it off for whatever reason, you start to remember all of the things that made you happy, and all the positive things that made you who you were when you went into the relationship to begin with.
Ask yourself, how good was it when you first met this girl? The sex was the best; the two of you were fucking like minks, doing it what felt like 100 times a day in every place imaginable. Not a care in the world. You remember, waking up after a long night of hot, sweaty sex and then deciding it was easier to keep doing it again all day long than to have a shower and get dressed. You would only break for the toilet or some quick refreshments, but then realising the kitchen table needed to be tried out as well…
They were the best of times, everything else didn’t matter. You never worried about the phone, the bills, what was on the news. All you cared about was the sex and what position to do next. But what happened? Where did you go wrong? Soon sex becomes less frequent, soon it becomes more one-sided and more of a chore for her. She starts to complain because you’re taking too long and that you have to hurry up because the dishes need to be done. A friend or relative is coming over for dinner, the news or popular trashy soap opera was about to begin, or more importantly, there’s the matter of the electricity bill. If you eventually have a kid the sex becomes almost non-existent and you basically have to bribe, con or blackmail your way back into the bed.
By the time sex does come around, it’s usually in the form of a birthday present of which you now have to be grateful. You’re so happy you are going to get your rocks off that missionary or doggy will do just fine. There’s no time for the good old fashioned marathons, no time for numbers 1 to 101 of the best sexual positions. Just get your load off pal. As years pass and this continues, your hair falls out or goes grey, you put on weight and she starts to complain that her sex life is suffering. Basically she is saying “I don’t find you very attractive anymore, you aren’t the man I fell in love with.” By the time you’re 40 they call it a mid life crisis… but what if you’re younger?
I like the idea of a relationship in the ‘honeymoon period’ starting off small. The friendship develops gradually as you enjoy getting to know one another. Sex is then something that happens when the time is right; you’re caught up in a moment where the sex is great and ‘well earned’. The best part about it; it only gets better from there. A relationship like this would be the best of times…
If your relationship has headed down this path then you’re onto something good. However, if it’s heading down the path of banality, you can kiss all the former little pleasures of your sexual relationship goodbye. This includes oral sex. It’s time to think about what lead you down this path. There is no use dwelling on who is at fault, or how busy your partner’s working life is. There should always be time for that passion and physical connection that was a contributing factor to your attraction to each other in the first place.
You start to think what it was like when you were fitter, more Virile, and lasted longer than the 10 minutes that has become the status quo. You start to remember all your past glories, the good, the bad and the extremely ugly. You start to compare notes and decide to create a book about it.