Originally Posted: August 21, 2015
“No Act Of Kindness IS Ever Wasted” – Framed Novelty Wisdom Found in Toilets
I had been told by a great many that I am a sweet guy, a nice and gentle man. I can say that I like to go out of my way to put a smile on someone’s face and I think a lot more of us should do it. There’s not one reason on this planet why we should be “always” angry with each other and the world in which we live. Get over it otherwise you’ll die.
People need people remember.
I am told that I’m always giving, perhaps giving too much to too many. It seems there’s quite a few who don’t seem to appreciate it. It might be true, but I don’t put on a deliberate façade just to win people over. It’s just the way I am. If there was indeed a façade, it must have there from the beginning. Admittedly there have been some people I couldn’t stand, but I still greet them with a smile when I serve them at work but I’m not rude to them.
I guess I can put it down to me being raised with so little and learning to appreciate even the smallest of things when I was a kid, that when I have something to give, or rather to share, I feel I should share it. The whole karma aspect that I have followed echoes this. I feel that if you be good to others and do positive things for others; it will come back ten fold. I have to say I have seen the results of this come back first hand. But there have been some instances lately where even I have to think maybe I have to pull back with giving too much, especially my time to others and stop being so bloody generous to people who seem more takers than givers.
Maybe it has to do with the amount of new people I have had in my life in the last 12months. I have met up with people who like me for who I am and are the best support and offer fair and honest criticism. Knowing what type of person I am, when they say something, I feel they have got to know me enough that maybe they know what they are talking about.
Case in question, the latest criticism about my life my friends are talking about the amount of time I spend at work and how much I do for others that don’t appreciate it and/or just using me for whatever reason. My argument is when somebody wanted something from me, I would honestly go out of my way to try and get it done for them, usually at no costs, just my time. Which of late is the most costly. Whilst also ignoring the instinct that told me where I really should be investing my time and energies.
Yet while I have been trying to find some more time for myself, I have been pushing to get some more time off work but for some reason I couldn’t find anyone to do the shifts. I have people asking me for shifts all the time, but there just isn’t any really spare or there is not enough money to pay them. Yet, I have been known regularly to pay for a wage from my own pocket just to have the extra help. I have been asked for shifts and made to feel guilty when I said no there wasn’t. Yet when I asked anyone of these people to do one when sometimes comes up, they conveniently aren’t around to fill in.
Recently we employed a new staff member to do errands and help around the shop. I made an arrangement with him to do a Thursday night shift as, for the first time in 2 years, I was getting excited about this Thursday off, because a friend was taking me out to dinner for my birthday. Something that no one has done for me. Two days I checked and re-checked with this staff member, I even made sure the owner knew and even he talked with the staff member about it being all sorted out.
Everything was a go. After numerous lunch shouts, coffees and all round looking out for him, plus the fact I offered to pay the shift, I felt It was all looked after.
So Thursday night comes around and I joked that he should have an easy night, and he says “what are you talking about?”.
The blank look came across my face; I honestly thought he was taking the piss out of me.
I said, “Tonight, when you do the 5 to 8”,
“Huh” he said, “I’m not working, I’ve got plans”
“You’re taking the fucking piss aren’t you”
“No, I’m not working tonight, no one told me”
“Please tell me you’re fucking with me man,”
“No”
“For fuck’s sake dude, this is fucked up, we have had this planned for two nights, I told you, the boss even checked with you.
“No one said it was tonight”, he said,
“How many fucking Thursdays are there in a fucking week man?” I replied.
Bloody Idiot, I thought.
I was upset, but would be the better man and not blow my top, especially in a shop with customers. I went back to my work station to cool off. I had already blew my top with him a few days prior, I am the manager and he was thick with the boss, so he was already starting to mark his non-existent territory and test my limits. I told him not to worry about it, I will sort something out. But that’s when reality struck me and for the first time I finally got to see what all my friends were saying.
Out of all the possible people who could have been able to fill the shift besides unrealiable, absent-fucking-minded said staff member. Every single one of them knocked me back. I appreciate the fact that people have their own life, people have other commitments. But I was shocked that not one single person could help me out. How is my luck that of all the nights that this could happen, it had
to fall on the one day that every one of them were otherwise busy.
FUCK, who is doing this to me?
I started to remember all the times I had been called at all hours of the night or day for a computer problem, emergency baby sitting, house sitting, animal sitting, adult sitting,
a lot of sitting, car passenger, shop buddy, money loaner, movie supplier, lover, ear lender, marriage and sex counsellor, entertainer and seat filler.
The problem is that I have no one to blame but myself for being such a sucker. So many times I’ve dropped what I was doing, So many times I’ve cancelled my own plans, So many times I’ve sacrificed something as I felt that I was doing the right thing. I did it because they are my friends, I did it because I cared or loved them. I didn’t ever or will ever do things, hoping for a return, but I couldn’t help but have faith in the notion that my friends would be there for me if the time called for it. But I just realised that maybe it’s time I should pull back and start doing things differently. Something clicked in me on this Thursday night. It wasn’t the fact that I had to face my friend who would no doubt be upset with what have happened. It wasn’t the fact that I had a lot of explaining to do. It was the fact that a change was upon me, the winds blew in cold and hard. A faded ripped flag blew in this wind and pointed the right direction to me.
It was time to rethink the way my life is headed, and to get my priorities in order. If I am to move mountains, I would have to start by making molehills.
Tonight, I still love my friends and others, and I will still be the generous soul. But I will not be doing it if it doesn’t feel right or if it will have a negative effect on me and my journey. I have no negativity towards them. I’m just sock of the timing of everything and what people like this staff member did to me.
“We Aim to Please, YOU Aim Too Please“