Originally posted: August 20, 2015

So you’ve finally been able to get a date, it’s all gravy now right? Wrong. You haven’t even gone on the date and the possible mind field of games is about to present itself to you. Thankfully I haven’t personally experienced what they call a broken date, but it’s up there as a perfect example of a woman’s mind game when it comes to dating. Your lady friend breaks the organised date with you at the absolute last minute, and a poor excuse for an excuse usually follows.

In some cases women are skilful enough to turn this around, and make it seem like it’s your fault that the date collided with whatever unexpected thing has caused her to be late. Another slight variation on this scenario is that she doesn’t even show up at the date at all, leaves you at the restaurant table waiting, without a hint of a sorry or an excuse.

Once again it’s a relationship power play. She’s trying to fish out who’s got the balls in the relationship and wants to see if you are gonna let her treat you this way by seeing if you’re willing to run and chase after her.

It’s basically about how desperate you are to have her in your life and whether you can handle a relationship on her time, and with her rules. If you go chasing after her, she knows she has you and you once again, you become her bitch.

We are going on a date, FINALLY.

The date is on, you agree to pick her up at 6:30 for the 7.00 dinner at a nice Indian restaurant. You feel if you pick her up there’s no excuse for her to be late and besides you will have a better time trying to navigate the date.

But alas, she’s late or not ready when you pick her up for the date. Furthermore, this becomes a recurring issue, even when you try and pick her up earlier or make the dinner later to try and compensate this lateness.

You see, she’s trying to figure out how much she can get away with. Once again she’s trying her best to call the shots, rather than compromise and let you have a chance to take the driver’s seat. Like in previous scenarios it’s all about her testing how interested you are and how far you will go to prove it.

If she makes you wait for her, it means once and for all that she values her time more than she does yours. In all fairness to women, this situation also applies to friends in general as well. If they are always going to make you wait, then they obviously think less of you. Yet a relationship is basically the greatest friendship of all, so there you go. You really do need to see these signs.

As Chilli Palmer says in the film Be Cool, “If you’re important, people will wait for you.” Well if you are on the other side of that statement and there’s a 7.00 dinner appointment, both of you will be waiting for another table if you’re late. That is, if there’s even one available.

The Expensive dates

Some women, like some guys I know, will only go out with you if you make it worth their while. There are some women out there that if you can present yourself as a person with money, or rather a person with some money to spend then you might get their attention. If your pockets are bottomless then you will have her for a long while yet, but if you are just an average Joe with some savings to take advantage of, then your date will be a used-by one.

There are some girls who will want to experience the high life or at least the notion of it, and want to go to the most expensive restaurants, the most exclusive clubs and the hottest plays or concerts. The thing is you are the one expected to pay for it. Yes, we hear all about fairness and equal opportunities for women and everything being done right down the middle. But at the end of the day women usually go quiet when it comes to being pampered or doted upon, especially when it’s a fancy restaurant, for example.

Don’t get me wrong: a lot of women would love this, and as a guy it does feel good to put on a nice show for a woman you really like and honestly deserves to be spoilt. There are some special ladies out there who would actually appreciate the attention and totally understand that what you are doing is an equally special gesture and is not to be expected all the time.

But the other women – the users, the ones you should not have taken on an expensive date because you are wasting your time – know that if you don’t fork over the cash, you won’t have a prayer of getting her into bed.

To make matters worse, she might even do this if she has unequivocally no intention of having sex with you.

If you have already shown her that you find her sexually attractive, you may as well give her your credit card, the keys to your car and the papers for the house, as she now knows how to get it all.

No sex please, we’re British

Another mind game is what the “About men” website calls the serial flirt and the ‘no sex please’ scenario.

Firstly, you might think you’re finally going to get lucky with the woman you’ve spent close to your life savings on. She’s getting you all hot and bothered, but before you know it, she backs off and basically you end up with blue balls and she’s either on the couch watching TV or out the door.

The only sex that will be happing that night will be “Sex and the City”. This is another example of manipulation and exultation of her sexual power over you, plain and simple. She might also play this game to extract more cash from your wallet, but it doesn’t stop her from flirting with other guys in front of you, whether it is your best mate who’s come over to visit or a nameless fellow at a place you two have gone out to.

What she’s doing is testing to see how interested you are and underscoring the fact that she’s sexually desirable to other men, so if you want a piece of this, you really have to prove you’re worth it.